INTERNAL DIALOGUE FROM AN ENDLESS FLOAT SESSION

By Sarah Worzer

Deep breath in. Breathe out. 
This saltwater is bizarre. I’d much rather be in a hot tub.
Pointing my toes toward the ceiling. Should my palms be facing up or down? Up. Definitely up. Yogi-style. 
Closing my eyes. 
Nope. Nope. Don’t like that. Eyes open. 
Deep breath. Letting go of the tension in my muscles. 
Floating… Floating… geez. Floated my head into the wall. 
I don’t like this. 
It’s fine. Focus. 
Floating…
Even with the earplugs, the whimsical woodland music is REALLY loud. Silence would be worse though. I’ll get over it. 
Do people really like sensory deprivation? Being a baby must be terrifying. 
My shoulders are tense. This is not relaxing. I’ll put my arms over my head. Yep, perfect. 
Ok, relaxing now. I can do this. 
Deep breath. In… And out… 
There are a lot of waves in here. I feel a little motion sick. 
And why am I floating around so much? This noodle is NOT helping. 
I’ll use it to prop my head up on the side. 
Ooph, there’s saltwater in my eyes. Where is that washcloth? There we go. 
Back to relaxing. 
Yep. Really bad for my neck. And so many waves. 
Ooh, it’s been long enough– the lights turned off. 
I don’t like this. 
Which direction am I facing? If I move along the edge of the pool… found it. 
This button is… How am I supposed to remember what that dude said when he explained this? He better not come back in here. 
I hope there aren’t cameras in here.
The water is REALLY choppy now. Definitely motion sick. Ok, sitting up. 
Focus. Be still. Deep breath. 
People enjoy this. They do it voluntarily on a regular basis. There are regulars here. They pay money for this. This shouldn’t be so hard. 
Counting my breath now. My heart is beating so fast! 
Deep breath…
…One…
…Two…
…Three…
I don’t think I’ve ever meditated for 60 minutes. Definitely no more than, like, 15 minutes. 
But this is a new experience. Relaxing. Feeling weightless. Clearing my mind. 
Counting. 
…One…
…Two…
…Twelve…
What if someone walks in while I’m floating in here? And I can’t hear them because of the earplugs and the music? Someone could come in, reach in this small salty pool and drown me! I wish there was a lock on the door. 
And that I wasn’t naked. 
Opening eyes. Propping up against the wall. Ready to defend myself from attackers. Eyes on the entrance. 
Relaxing.
Half-floating… I’ve got to be at least 20 minutes in by now. 
Even with the lights on it’s too dark in here. What if I cross into the upside down by accident? That corner of the ceiling looks really ominous. Like it’s made for dimension-jumping creatures. 
Too real. Sitting up now. 
This is a personal-sized, lukewarm, salty swimming pool hell. I did NOT expect to have such strong feelings about this. I can’t imagine if this were one of those enclosed pod-things. I’d be FREAKING OUT.  
Where’s my washcloth? 
What if I’m totally wrong about my time estimate and I’m over my 60 minutes and that dude is going to come back in? Did my time start when I got in the pool, or when he closed the door? I should have taken notes. 
I’m getting out now. I will not be eaten by a demogorgon. 
Or murdered by anyone. 
It’s not worth it. 
My face is so salty.